I seem to have misplaced my pants.

A funny thing is happening with my pug runs lately. I haven’t been able to connect much with Lara so I’ve just been doing a few randoms on my own. But the strange thing is, they’re getting exceedingly…competent. Nothing funny is happening as a result of this, which is something of a relief but also leads to a strange feeling of… I’m not sure what to call the feeling. In any case, my guild’s two very vocal protection paladins have been badgering me about being Prot. One of them referred disparagingly to me in the manner of, “Well, what can you do with a pally who won’t tank, anyway?” and the other one insisted “But you could see things the way I see them!” I told him that:

1) I have little to no gear for this venture. Especially, no shield.
2) Learning to tank in pugs at nearly 80 would probably not go well. Learning to tank in heroics would be even worse, so conditionally I’ll only do it if I can drag some guildies along. Which is actually a terrible idea because they’re all ICC-geared and will pull from me casually and effortlessly, but at least they probably wouldn’t die. We had our ret paladin tank Oculus the other day without a single death. How does it make tanks feel to be superfluous? Probably the same way I feel when I’m “healing” my husband’s warrior tank.

Anyway, so I told our pally tank these things, and he said, “You have a shield, you have a healing shield!” and I laughed at him. Then my Violet Hold run came up, and this tanking shield dropped. The tank already had it. With an inward sigh, I piped up, “Does anyone mind if I take that for offspec?” Nobody minded. I have a tanking shield.

“The WoW gods!” pushy paladin proclaimed. “They’re trying to tell you!”

I queued for another random, this time winding up in Gundrak. The only remarkable thing about this Gundrak run was that, firstly, the paladin tank was pretty tough to heal. In an “OMG why is she taking so much damage it’s just trash”  kind of way. We went on like this for a little ways, myself not understanding, but not having time to look at her gear (can’ttalkhealingguys). I couldn’t even remark on it or ask her what was up because I just had to be continuously healing her. I can’t work in these conditions! Anyway, it dawned on me, long after the first boss and somewhere near the trash before the “I’m a purple mojo, no wait, I’m a construct” boss.

She was level 74. The trash in Gundrak is 77, and the bosses are 78. There’s a reason they were beating the everloving snot out of her. That she was even able to hold aggro on them was impressive to me, and I told her so. The whole group loved her, we made it through without any problems…and a tanking ring dropped. Everyone greeded on it. “Does anyone mind if I take that for offspec?” I asked again. Nobody did. If the loot gods have a message for me, I’m not listening.

Unfortunately, presently I’m conflicted. Actually I’m not conflicted at all, I’m decided. Experience gains from Northrend dungeons is the pits. There, I said it. I can do a whole instance like Gundrak, and it’ll net me two bars or something. I can do three quests and get the same. So I’ve quested in some strategic spots to creep my way to level 80 – Zul’drak, for a few quest rewards. These were necessary quest rewards, primarily because…

I disenchanted my pants. Yes. In an effort to make room, I said, “Oh, look at these crappy green pants,” crush, crush, sparkly magic dust, and then later I went to heal something. “…where are my pants?”

So I had to quest to find a new pair of pants. I also want the Argent Crusade folks to love me because they offer some good pants to wear at level 78, with a socket even. Things To Cover My Rear are a primary concern for me, you see. And they also have a ring I can wear once I’m Exalted with them and 80. I don’t know how much of this gear will be obsolete, but I’d really like to minimize the amount of ilevel 200 crafted gear I’ll need. I did buy some BoEs, but it seems that largely, the gear from normal instances is aimed at letting you move into heroics, if you have enough of it, right? This could be a misconception on my part, but I feel that with a solid tank I shouldn’t need too much in the way of additional fancy sparklies of the crafted variety. More on that when I get to eighty and get crushed.

And it will happen soon, oh yes. I quested through a bit of Icecrown yesterday (I wanted the Cannoneer’s Fuselighter, and also to hear Tirion shout “THE TIME OF THE ARGENT CRUSADE IS NOW. Fight them with the fire of a thousand burning suns in your heart!” or similar).

So, to make a long story short: I’d like to be 80! It would take a zillion pugs between 77 and 80 without any questing to do it. Shiny paladin heals are fun. Here are some search results from this week:

helmet dropped in scarlet monastery: This is a good thing, isn’t it? I’m not sure why you had to google it. Did you feel guilty? It dropped and then I ROLLED ON IT. That makes you, you know, someone who runs instances. It’s cool.

stuck outside maraudon of instance dead: You have to head towards the cave. Then run in circles awhile. Head towards the colour of crystals you were doing. In my case, this was usually purple.

scarlet monastery lost in graveyard: I’m really sorry, but you’re beyond help. You’re worse than I am, and I’m pretty bad.

underwear outside pants: You can thank Vid’s earlier, dubious fashion choices for this bizarre search result.

Oh, the shame.

ninja! shadowfang keep: I think this is my favourite search result, somewhat related to the one below it. I was talking about the sneaky orcs in Shattered Halls, but of course it would lead to people indignant about loot ninjas in their groups. It’s the exclamation point that makes it, I think. It conveys a sense of shock and resentment. There! Was! A! Ninja!

shattered halls ninjas: I’d say, “Don’t worry, you’ll run it again and get the same loot,” but even I only ran Shattered Halls once, so I’m very sorry for your troubles.

biggest ninja: It wasn’t me, I swear.

things you’re not supposed to notice
: In my case, it was a chipper rogue I wasn’t supposed to notice, but I like that it’s bringing conspiracy theorists here, maybe. There are so many things you aren’t supposed to notice! Thoughtcrime is death. “Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they they have rebelled they cannot become conscious,” etc.

tank map of gnomer?
: Cassandri made a really spiffy one.

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15 responses to “I seem to have misplaced my pants.

  1. I’ve reached the same conclusion with instances in Northrend. Unfortunately, it is way to slow to really use. I feel like instancing is a little slower even at the lower levels, but in WotLK it feels like they tuned it so that killing mobs nets you very little experience compared to completing quests (see for instance how slowly your rested XP drops), and running an instance is basically AoE grinding.

    It is still worth running instances a few times to do a quest, or try to get some loot, and MAYBE once a day for badges.

    • A lot of the instances in Northrend also are set up so you can avoid a significant amounts of trash should you choose to do so. Ahn’aket is one example, and Pit of Saron is another. For the longest time I never got the Ahn’aket achievement because when it would pop up in the LFD everyone else in the group wanted to bypass two of the bosses -to go pick up their frost badges, naturally.

  2. You know, Vid, you could get your pushy Pally tank to shut up by saying that you’ll learn to tank but only by doing it in raids. The lure of instant death for ten people ought to cause him to back off a bit. ;-)

    scarlet monastery lost in graveyard: I’m really sorry, but you’re beyond help. You’re worse than I am, and I’m pretty bad.

    That’s actually easier than I expected when I did it last month just to clear out the achievement. Go straight. Keep going straight. Never deviate.

    Now Kraul and Uldaman, on the other hand….

  3. I’m very sorry I haven’t been around as much for us to run together! Not that you need me to run instances, but I hope we’ll be able to again soon. That’s fun. :)

    I’m totally with you about wanting to get to 80 now; I almost pulled an all-nighter last night to make it happen. In the end, though, the lure of a warm bed, a good book, and a purring kitty was too much. But tonight, well! That’s another story… :)

    On the subject of learning to tank in Heroics, I feel you are exactly right to be leery of that! Even if you had been tanking all the way up through Northrend in Normal instances, you might not be prepared for the level of stress a random pug holds in store for a freshly-80 tank.

    Still, if you find you do want to tank, I’m more than glad to re-spec to Restoration so you can have a tame healer while you practice. I’ve been keeping up a fairly respectable set of healing gear as we’ve levelled, and I’m happy to return the favor for all the lovely healing you’ve done for me!

  4. Hm… I don’t know if I care for this Pushy Pally character.

    I hope you can find some pants soon. It reminds me of what happened to me a while ago, with my boots. Sad day.

  5. Hi Vid,
    don’t blame the instances!
    Blame your “no more +20% experience” gear.
    That only works up to level 70.

    • Roch, I don’t think this is true! I know they’ve said it won’t work past 80. (e.g. 80-85) But I went and killed a Vrykul with my shoulders on and got about 2668 XP. Exact same mob, same level without the shoulders was about 2434. :D

  6. You should make us loyal readers a deal; for every two hours you spend questing, you will tank one dungeon.

    Mwahaha.

    But seriously, pally tanking is fun. Just make sure you have Seal of Command, throw Consecration, and hit stuff.

  7. Sometimes I wonder about those search results. I don’t have as many hits you so my search results are somewhat sparse, but for some reason someone looking for “264 arcane badge gear” found my site and I have no idea why — I tried the search myself and my site didn’t appear anywhere within the first ten pages. Have you ever tried that with these searches? Just to see where you rank on them? (“Underwear outside pants” gives you a link on the seventh page of links — but it’s to this very entry, which makes me wonder how they found you.)

  8. That pushy pally sounds right to me, you should tank for sure.
    The wow gods clearly want you to, that’s for sure :3

  9. Believe in the light and all is possible!

  10. The ring and helm from Argent Crusade are awesome – I specifically leveled so that I’d end up with exalted Argent Crusade when I hit 80 (and this was before they boosted the rep gains… but I’m also human yay!) – they’ll do you for a while giving you a chance to focus on other things first – I’ve only just replaced my helm and I’m still using the ring – although that is an oversight that happened when I got distracted by my tanking offspec (which I must admit is more of my main spec these days… they are almost on par)! Must go and run H HoR more (as heals)…

  11. Ooh that tank’s map of gnomer will be good too… my baby bear druid is just getting into gnomer LFD territory and it’s been way too long since I’ve run gnomer to remember it.

  12. Add me to the list of people who would like to see you try tanking out!

  13. Oh my God, I did that! I can’t decide if that makes me less stupid or you more stupid ;) Obviously I don’t usually post LOOK AT ME links in other people’s comments but to show that I share your pain: http://www.righteousorbs.com/?p=274

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