Last week when I had the opportunity, Vid was extremely busy with pugs. The queue times were pretty much instant, so it made for some fast and furious pugging. First I went to Mara – Orange and decided to take a stand against tank asshattery.
“OOM,” the moonkin said. “Yes, wait please,” I echoed.
“its fine,” the tank said, running ahead to attack the – water elemental boss-type thing. With a sigh, I jump up from drinking and sprint after him and start healing. I was at about half mana anyway, so it was okay, but I prefer to have a bit more going in. You never know what’s going to happen.
“Please don’t pull when your healer needs mana,” I repeated.
“I told you it was fine,” he says.
Feeling more belligerent than usual, I told him shortly, “It was fine because I came and healed you anyway. Or did you think that healers are merely decorative?”
“I had lay on hands so quit your whining,” he said, and he marks the second pug in which I have apologized to the rest of the group, but left because I won’t put up with people who not only have a God complex but are also jerks about it. I could’ve voted to kick him but finding tanks takes an eternity and I just didn’t want the hassle, so I left.
Immediately after, still a bit stung, I joined a group to find an unfamiliar load screen. Could this be… Sunken Temple? It was indeed, and glorious fun was had by all. The tank said, “Let’s makes this a quick run, ok?” and I agreed. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever done ST so fast, we didn’t stop (or need to stop) the entire time. Chain-pulling pally tanks make me so happy. I can only hope that other ST groups I join know their way around as well.
I capped off the pug session with an uneventful Pristine Waters run. Vidyala is 48 now, creeping ever closer to the 50-60 range. You all know what that means… Death Knights. Soon.
Funny enough, this entry in my pugging annals isn’t really about Vidyala, but it does involve a paladin, and pugging, so I hope you’ll bear with me. I haven’t really changed names to protect the innocent, except my own, and I couldn’t remember the troll hunter’s name so I gave him a name in honour of Tam.
The Story of Hellfire Ramparts, A Drama In Three Parts
“Gankmytaint” – A paladin queued as a healer.
Kali – Intrepid Trollish frost mage, aka yours truly.
Gorlock – a trollish shaman
Greenhots – Inexplicably, an orc deathknight.
Humsomethingorother – Forsaken deathknight
Cumin – Troll hunter of little words
Moohealz – a Tauren druid. I may have made that name up.
A bunch of other people whose names I’ve forgotten, alas, they will be named only by role.
Scene: The entrance portal of Hellfire Ramparts. Our actors gather to pit themselves against foes of untold multitude and strength.
Moohealz: Oh sh***
Everyone else: Um…?
Moohealz: Give me a minute guys I need to respec
Tank: *ignores the druid and begins pulling*
Utter chaos ensues, though no words are spoken for a good minute or so. Somehow the group survives the first pull, but the druid is yelling.
Moohealz: OK NOW GIVE ME A MINUTE PLEASE
Within moments, two DPS are lying dead on the ground. The only remaining, live party members are the tank (but not for long) and the druid himself. Various swears. It looks as if the group might manage to survive even this pull, until Kali sees something that makes her blood run cold. (She’s a frost mage, too, so it takes a lot).
Kali: Where is my water elemental goingohcrap.
The water elemental scoots around the corner and begins to shoot at a new pack of orcs. Half the group has ragequit by this time as a mob of orcs rushes towards our two-toed cloth-wearer and she flees for her life as only a frost mage can, leaving her water elemental behind to bear their wrath. She laughs so hard at the sorry debacle that it takes her a few minutes to resume working on professions, before she can queue once more for Hellfire Ramparts. There’s loot there to be had!
Scene: The same instance portal, now with a fresh group of cheery adventurers. Another DK tank (surprise) we’ll call him Hum, and a healer by name of “Gankmytaint.” Kali expects great things from this young worthy. She will not be disappointed.
Hum the Tank: Heal me please
Hum the Tank: I’m dying over here where’s heals?!
Gank: Sorry, I’ll try 2 pay more attention
Hum the Tank: ty
The group actually continues in this vein with reasonable success until Watchkeeper Guy And His Two Henchmen.
Gorlock: afk a second guys
Watchkeeper What’s-his-name: “Heal me, quickly! Ah man, what the heck? I just hired those guys, what’s with all the turnover—” *dramatic death*
Kali: Look, cloth shoulders! Dis is great, mon.
Hum the Tank: *inexplicably leaves group*
Gank: I can absolutely tank this, can someone keep me healed?
Amazingly, it only takes about a half minute to find another Death Knight tank. I hear those guys are really rare at this level…
Greenhots, the Orc DK Tank: Hey Gank, ur main is from my server, blahblah lists all my characters incomprehensibledudespeak
Gankmytaint: hey no kidding, u r the blahblah more dudespeak
Greenhots: Oops, I’m in the wrong spec, brb. *hearths out to DK treehouse*
Greenhots: OK, who’s the healer?
Gorlock the Shaman: Hey guys, I’m back from AFK, what’d I miss?
Greenhots: who is healer
Greenhots: He has a two-hander?
Kali: *wisely says nothing*
Greenhots: OK, let’s do this! *immediately loses aggro on several mobs while water elemental tanks them*
Greenhots: lol I need to remember how to play this toon
Kali: Yes, an instance is absolutely the best place to do that! <– didn’t actually say this
Greenhots: I’m not really getting healed a lot
Gankmytaint: Hey guys, I’m OOM
Greenhots: *pulls anyway, dies a horrible death*
Gankmytaint: *proceeds to finish off pack of mobs after most of party has died, and does not die*
Gorlock: Rez please?
Greenhots: Who’s the healer?
Greenhots: THEN TURN OFF RIGHTEOUS FURY.
Gankmytaint: give me a sex
Gankmytaint: im also holy
Gankmytaint: I mean sec. *switches, only now, to Holy spec, but gear remains a two-hander*
Conversation and combat proceeds in this vein for a few more trash pulls, now outside of the corridor leading to last two bosses. Fortunately the pause gives most of party time to type various versions of “LOL” and “ROFL” because OHMYGAWD YOU GUYS HE SAID SEX! and other witty repartee.
Gank: Sorry I keep running out of mana
Greenhots: Then put up mana seal and buff yourself with wisdom.
Gank: *put up Seal of Wisdom, buffs tank with Blessing of Wisdom*
Greenhots: Not me, u
Greenhots: give me kings again
Gank: *buffs self with Blessing of Wisdom*
Group heads towards Big Orc Guy On Dragon.
Gorlock: Great work, team!
Kali: (I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not, but I don’t think he was.) <– didn’t actually say this, either
Greenhots: *loses aggro on orc and mage nearly dies. Nazrudan descends from the sky!*
Greenhots: lay on hands!
Greenhots: dumbass pally
Kali: omg the tank is dead omg omg he’s coming for me.
Nazrudan: *eats the shaman*
Kali: Better him than me. *casts frantically*
Gorlock: Rez please? *Needs on ring with int, sta, spellpower and spirit*
Gorlock: Wow, guys, that was fun! *observes that the rest of the group is not near him*
Gorlock: Is there more?
Kali: *can barely believe her good fortune*
Group moves on to attack Omor – miraculously, not a single member dies during final encounter. Much rejoicing! A spellpower mace that the “holy” paladin with the two-hander does not roll on drops.
Gorlock: *need rolls on mace* Woo! Great group, everyone. Be well.
Hey, I got some cloth shoulders out of it. And I laughed so hard that my sides hurt after. I act all exasperated with it but actually it was hilariously fun, and I only feel mildly guilty about making a blog entry out of the mishaps of another “holy” pally. This stuff writes itself.